So here is an interesting part of being an au pair: knowing what role you are supposed to play in social situations. For example, the other day a friend of Victoria's came over with her son Louie and her au pair Sharron. The kids were going to have a play date together. Sharron and I played with the kids for a while and Victoria and Vanessa (her friend) talked, then we all sat down to lunch together. Us adults (I only consider myself an adult when compared to children) were having a nice conversation while the kids were eating, but then the kids got up because they were bored with eating and wanted to play. Here was the dilemma: do Sharron and I continue our adult conversation, or were we supposed to get up too and play with the kids? Sharron and I are both new to our families, so we really weren't sure, despite the fact that we both work for really cool, laid back mom's who probably wouldn't have given it a second thought no matter what we chose. Sharron and I talked about it later when we went out for drinks ('we' meaning just me and her; even in France they don't take kids out for nightcaps) and agreed that it is a uniquely odd situation.
I'm in a similar situation this very moment, and I'm stalling by writing about it. Victoria's parents are downstairs playing with the kids. Ben is home too, but Victoria is not. Am I supposed to go down and be sociable? Am I supposed to let them have their family time? I don't even want to go talk to them, but I'm hungry and I want a snack and they are all in the kitchen. Is it rude if I just go get food and come upstairs again? None of these would be questions if I was just an employee or just a house guest, but I'm both. Again, Ben is as laid back as his wife, so they probably really don't care what I do, especially since I have weekends off. But I'm feeling odd about it...will hunger or my anti-socialness (is that a word?) prevail? Decision time...
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4 comments:
Those are very interesting issues...I never would have thought of. Let me know what you decide to do in the next awkward family situation.
Perhaps, if I come to visit we could go to their house in the South of France...Do they have a house there?
PS
Justin was wondering if they have tried to eat you yet?
They have not yet tried to eat me, Justin. Should I be worried, though, that the bath gel they gave me to use smells like worchestershire sauce? They said it's just a french thing...
I don't think the house in the South of France is theirs. I think it belongs to one of their brothers...we could certainly look into using it if they don't eat me before the opportunity arises.
Mmmmmm - I really like worchestershire sauce.
I think you should ask them straight up how to deal in those situations. Wait until you are not in that situation and ask them as part of a general conversation. It might be good to set a 1x per week sit down and discuss issues/etc so that no one has to feel funny about it. Then you know that you will have a time to discuss issues such as that and no one will be surprised.
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